Greenland Bear — all the news and memes about Greenland from a bear named Umka

 Hello. My name is Umka, and I am a polar bear from Greenland . I spend most of my time doing normal Arctic things: walking on ice, catching fish, watching the northern lights, and occasionally reading strange things humans post on the internet. Recently I noticed something very confusing. Humans keep making memes about Greenland , and almost every time there are penguins in them. Penguins. In Greenland. I have lived here my entire life. I walk across glaciers, swim in icy water, and talk with seals, walruses, and sometimes very old sharks. But in all those years I have never seen a penguin. Not one. You see, penguins actually live on the opposite side of the planet — in Antarctica . That is literally the other end of the Earth. If a penguin somehow decided to visit Greenland , it would have to travel an extremely long distance and probably get very confused along the way. But humans on the internet seem absolutely convinced that penguins and polar bears are neighbors. Every...

 Hello, my name is Umka. I am a polar bear from Greenland , and today I want to tell you about one of the strangest friends in the Arctic Ocean — the legendary Greenland shark . You see, life in Greenland can be very quiet. Ice moves slowly, snow falls slowly, and apparently some sharks also move very slowly. My friend — the greenland shark — swims so calmly that sometimes I think he is just floating and thinking about ancient history. The most amazing thing about the Greenland shark is its age. Scientists say these sharks can live around 300 years , which means my friend might actually remember the world before many modern countries even existed. Sometimes when we talk, I joke that he probably remembers a time when there was no internet, no smartphones, and definitely no discussions about Trump Greenland . The greenland shark is not a very glamorous creature compared to tropical sharks. It has a long, dark gray body, small eyes, and a slow, relaxed swimming style. These shark...

 Hello. My name is Umka, and I am a polar bear from Greenland . My life is usually very simple: I walk on ice, catch fish, watch the northern lights, and sometimes listen to human news coming from the radios that fishermen leave on their boats. But lately I noticed something strange. Humans seem to have completely forgotten about Greenland. Everywhere I listen now, people talk only about Iran . A few years ago it was different. Suddenly everyone was discussing Greenland , and I kept hearing the phrase “Trump Greenland.” At first I didn’t understand what it meant. I even asked a walrus if humans were planning to move here. He told me that apparently someone wanted to buy the whole island. Buy Greenland! I looked around at the glaciers, the snow, the endless ice fields and thought: this is a very strange idea. Still, for a short time it was nice that people remembered our island exists. But humans change topics faster than a seal escaping a hungry bear. Today it’s one headline, to...